http://www.jonathoncolman.org/2013/01/07/a-guide-to-public-speaking-for-introverted-and-shy-people/
After reading the blog post (don't read the responses to his post) please write 150-200 words answering the following questions:
- What was the best advice Colman gave in his blog post? Why?
- Using Colman's explanations of shyness and introversion, are you either? Both? Why or why not?
- Describe what Colman means when he writes, "There's safety in structure".
I think the best advice Coleman gave in his article was to be transparent. On top of the stress of just doing a presentation or putting yourself out there, you don’t need to add keeping up with the little white lies you come up with to protect yourself. Being upfront with your work and personal issues will make the whole experience more tolerable.
ReplyDeleteAccording to Coleman a shy person has fear, anxiety, sensitivity and overall feelings of personal discomfort. An introvert goes through a high level of energy expenditure in social situations. Based on these descriptions I would say I’m a shy person. I do experience a high level of social anxiety but I don’t find social interactions to be physically tasking.
When Coleman talks about “safety in structure” he means that having a guideline for how an interaction should transpire is helpful. It takes out the guess work in interactions, making the overall experience more predictable and less daunting.
According to Colman’s definition of introversion and shyness I have a bit of shyness and a fair amount of introversion in me. He states that shyness is a feeling of fear, anxiety, and discomfort towards a certain situation, which I can definitely relate too: public speaking, meeting someone for the first time. On the other hand, he defines introversion as a preference in which an individual processes, produces, and expends energy. Being an introvert is definitely one of my traits; for instance, I like to do my school work and studies by myself and I just generally need some alone time during the day. During this alone time I’ll listen to music, play the guitar, or go for a run. For me the best advice in the post is Colman’s part about “ Safety in structure”. I know when theres a task that I need to accomplish communicating to other people about it is a no brainer: there is structure involved. But what about striking up a conversation with the “cute” girl next to you? That is definitely an area that I don’t excel in. But if you can find some structure: common ground, between you and the “cute” girl, striking up a conversation should be much easier. For example, maybe she’s in your history class, you could then ask her about the homework or the reading that was due that day.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading Colman’s’ blog post, the biggest thing that I took away from it was the idea of facing your fear. I think for myself or even others, we all have fears and we don’t understand that by not thinking about it, it’s not going to go away. His idea of “talking about them loud” is a great way to acknowledge your fear and make strides to fight them and overcome them. Facing your fears is the first step in overcoming them.
ReplyDeleteLooking at Colman’s explanations of shyness and introversion, I would put myself as an introvert. Shyness doesn’t really describe me as a person. I am more of an upbeat person when I’m with the people that I’m comfortable with. However, when I am in a situation that I find myself uncomfortable, my energy goes down which can alter how I present myself.
When Colman says “there’s a safety in structure”, it’s a way to engage in the conversation with people you do not know or have any connection with. Sticking in structure can help link a connection with those you are unfamiliar with and can lead to communication and an easy conversation starter for those who are shyness/introversion.
I believe that the best advice that Colman gave during his blog post was that we all have the capacity to overcome our fears, to make the changes that enable us to meet our goals. And that your goal shouldn't be perfection- instead, your goal should be to constantly evolve your skills and strengths. I really liked this because even though I am not an introvert or shy, this advice was still applicable to other fears I need to overcome and that my goals shouldn't always be to be perfect but rather to be the best version of myself that I can be, and to put 110% effort into everything I do. However, I don’t believe I am an introvert or shy because I enjoy the company of others over being along, and I love getting to meet new people and get the opportunity to talk to them. Additionally, when Colman writes "There's safety in structure" I think he means that when things are organized, and there is no room for uncertainty about what is going to occur you are more relaxed, more comfortable and able to focus on what you are going to be presenting rather than other distractions, or things taking place that day.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading Colman’s post, “Tips for the Shy”, I have decided his best bit of advice is the paragraph where he tells the introverted readers to be accountable for their words. When speaking to a group of people and information is not accurate, it is easy for someone to point fingers and blame one for “lying”. If you do not hold yourself accountable for your own words, others may begin to view you differently, such as a liar or just an ill equipped speaker. Providing research or the reason behind your words/beliefs settles an audience and allows them to further research on their own, rather than calling you out. If I was to categorize myself according to Colman’s blog post, I would say I am quite extroverted with a small amount of shyness. Talking to groups of people does not bother me if I am prepared and know quite a bit of information on the subject. Improvising is something that scares me, especially if it happens to be about a subject I am not familiar with. I have small amounts of anxiety that make me nervous, sweaty and red in the face when I am unfamiliar with something. For the majority of my speaking opportunities I am able to shove the shyness off to the side, as I enjoy company of others. When Colman says, “There’s safety in structure”, he is talking about the structure or existing background in a conversation. When you’re speaking with a group or just an individual and there is an existing like or similarity, it provides instant conversation. It’s a given connection without even knowing a person. I believe it involves conversing and asking questions and allowing the individuals to connect on a similar level, relieving much of the tension and anxiety. Overall I thought this blog post of very informative when it comes to introverted tips. I agreed with many of the possible solutions of feeling shy.
ReplyDeleteThe best advice Colman gave in his blog post was the tips for introverts to conserve their energy at conferences or other important events. More specifically, the greatest piece of advice was to create goals. Creating goals can help introverts conserve energy because it helps keep track of energy output which allows one to spend it on the more important social interactions. This advice is helpful for me because when I go to events where I have multiple social interactions in one day, it becomes exhausting. If I can create goals for myself ahead of time, I can manage my energy conservation more efficiently.
ReplyDeleteI am both an introvert and a shy individual. I prefer to recharge my battery alone but I also get anxious and fearful when it comes time for me to spark a conversation with someone new.
Colman talks about safety in structure. He means that when you have a pre-determined conversation established for someone you need to interact with, it alleviates many anxieties and takes away the feeling of trying to find something on the spot to talk about. Establishing a rapport with someone provides you with a familiar face instead of a complete stranger.
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ReplyDeleteMiles GeorgeFebruary 18, 2015 at 4:57 PM
In my opinion the best advice colman gives in his blog post is when he talks about how to handle disagreements. I think it was great advice to say to be accountable for what you know is wrong. it shows creditability and that no one is perfect. which can allow the audience to relate to you. Also the bit he had to say about evolving the crowd by asking questions and their ideas. When he said "This doesn’t make you look stupid; rather, you look like a confident facilitator focused on helping people get the most out of the event" it made total sense. It helps the whole purpose of the speaking by understanding what the audience wants to know and can shed light to things not touched on.
I do not consider myself shy. I love engaging in conversation and learning new things about people that way. I don't really get anxious starting conversations or interacting with people. However, I still feel as if I am an introvert because I prefer my own company and doing things on my own by myself. Also like to relax by myself to recover from a day.
Colman talks about this "safety in structure" and what he is talking about is when you have planned out talking points for when you know you will have to interact with someone. I do that myself. It makes you feel at ease to talk to someone and if you are not good at "winging it" it makes it less awkward. Allows you to become more familiar and friendly with people allowing interactions to flow more smoothly in the future. Puts you in a comfort zone in essence.
For me, the best advice Colman gave was “there’s nothing wrong with you.” There’s nothing wrong with being introverted, shy, extroverted, or anything like that. Introverts and people that are shy can work on their insecurities. Public speaking is something that you can work on. Being scared to talk in front of people is just something that bothers some people!
ReplyDeleteI am one of those people that believes introversion and shyness are completely different. I’m in no way introverted because I don’t prefer to be alone. It actually makes me extremely anxious and uneasy to be alone for long periods of time. Introverts need alone time to recharge at the end of the day. I will say I am slightly shy. For example, I struggle starting conversations and continuing them. Knowing I’m going to have to small talk and keep a conversation going is anxiety inducing enough for me to believe I’m at least partially shy.
When Colman talks about there being “safety in structure” he means that when there is enough definite points in a not so definite situation, one feels much more comfortable. For me, I’m comfortable talking to anyone about anything when I have at least one friend around. I can go up to others and ask questions or small talk. When I’m by myself I can’t even order coffee or take-out without having extreme anxiety.
What was the best advice Colman gave in his blog post? Why?
ReplyDeleteI think the best advice he gave was to remember to get acquainted with your fears. It’s important to know what your fears are regarding speaking. Some fears can be dealt with using coping mechanisms but others its just important to know that they will exist. Some fears are impossible to do away with because they are a response that is not easily dissuaded once it has started. It is also important to acknowledge that these fears can be lessened over time and once these fears are acknowledged, a person can begin working on them. Sometimes shyness and fears involving public speaking will only be lessened with exposure. The fear and anxiety probably won’t ever disappear completely. Speaking anxiety is after all a natural reaction that many people experience and it simply aggravated by shyness. The anxiety will lessen as a person’s body becomes habituated to the situation and everything the situation exists but if these fears aren’t acknowledged they can blindside a presenter.
Using Colman's explanations of shyness and introversion, are you either? Both? Why or why not?
I am inclined to say that I am shy more than introverted. On personality tests I generally get labeled as an introvert but I don’t know if I actually fit the definition. Social situations don’t really exhaust me, but at the same time I don’t really go out of my way to go to big social outings. I’m more likely to curl up on the couch and binge watch TV or read a book. When I do go out I prefer to go with a small group of friends rather than a large group, but I enjoyed going to school dances and concerts. The one thing I know for sure is that I am truly shy. I get a lot of anxiety when I have to meet new people or when I have to go somewhere where I don’t know anyone. I also suffer from mild speaking anxiety which I believe is due to my shyness. It has improved by participating in theater and chorus though.
Describe what Colman means when he writes, "There's safety in structure".
Structure and routines can be comforting to a lot of people. I know to me I feel better if I have a schedule so I know exactly what and when to expect something. There is a structure for every social, work, and educational situation. Some structures may be easy to figure out while others are hidden. For example, there is a clear structure when you are working with someone to finish a work related project or presentation. You work together and you talk to share information and set dates. You know what is expected of you. Another example is in dealing with cashier or bank teller. There is pretty much a script that is followed like clockwork with few variations. Structures, like schedules allow someone who has anxiety and is introverted a life preserver to cling to when they feel life. Structure within an anxious introvert’s life is also very important. An introvert needs to structure their schedule in such a way that they leave themselves time to recuperate from social exposure so they don’t completely overwhelm themselves.
Jonathon Colman, a self proclaimed introvert, talks in this article about his fear of public speaking, anxiety associated with it, and how he conceals his fear during presentations. The best advice he gave in this article; “no one is going to think less of you for not knowing something than they will if you pretend to know something you don’t.” This line of advice particularly fits me well, because I want to get everything right. I have an uncontrollable fear that my information I present is not factual. He goes on into the article to say “Laughing at yourself when you’re on stage and showing authentic humbleness and humility before a crowd is a great way of taking ego out of the situation.” After reading these to statements, I realize that you just need to be yourself during presentations. My goal is to cut back on trying to make my crowd feel inferior by choosing big “fancy” words to impress them by. Until reading this article I didn’t know there was a difference between introverted personality, and shyness. I do not identify myself with being introverted, just a huge fear of public speaking like most others in this world. One of Colman main points is that “there is safety in structure.” What I interpreted from this is that some conversations you have control over and others you don’t. Sometimes you just have to let loose and see where the conversation takes you. He finds safety, as well as others including myself, having a guideline of the conversation we will be discussing. An example of this is selling gym memberships at work. I have rehearsed the same conversation with hundreds of sales which resulted in me feeling confident speaking with others about gym memberships.
ReplyDeleteThe best advice that Johnathan Coleman gave in his blog is, make time for yourself because no one else will and I also like his ideal about creating goals to complete through out the day. Many times I find myself occupying my time with helping others out, such as giving a person a ride to work, school or to the grocery store etc.. Sometimes I receive gas money for my kindness and sometimes I don't, but regardless of the monetary appreciations, helping people out or going to an event with someone may seem like small task but being a full time student, working full time hours, trying to find time to study, caring after an ill family member and providing for my younger sibling doesn't leave much time for me to have some alone time or get some much needed rest. I often find myself saying, "that there is not enough time in a day to complete all the things I need to get done". Many times before the day ends I become very fatigue and exhausted and when I reflect on my day I realize that if I had took a little more time out for my self, I would have been able to achieve all the goals that I have set out for myself to complete within that particular day. When I am successful at achieving my goals for the day I feel like I accomplished something, I'm on the right track and look forward to the next day.
ReplyDeleteI believe that I am both introverted and shy. When I know that I have to speak in front of others, a lot of anxiety builds up inside of me, and I try to mask my anxiety by trying to stay focused on the task and taking deep breaths ever time I feel my heart begin to pound. My anxiety comes from the fear that I may make a mistake, stumble over my words, project an insecure persona and worry about what others are really thinking of me. I will say that I am introverted because I like to do things on my own, I don't like working in groups to much and I feel I get more accomplished when I'm by myself. I think more clearly and concisely when I'm alone. I am very friendly but I will most likely not be the person to start small talk. I am a very private person and currently I am not on any social media websites such as twitter, facebook or instagram, I do not feel the need to join nor the drama that often comes along with social media.
Safety in structures means, that there is a certain situation that has drawn you and others to a certain place with a common interest at hand. If you go to a Bills game, you will most likely be able to talk to the person next to you about football, or if you go to an finance conference you can talk to just about anyone there about finances because the structure is already set up for you to engage in conversation.
From Pat:
ReplyDeleteI think the best advice Colman gave in his blog post was that, “no one’s going to think less of you for not knowing something than they will if you pretend to know something you don’t.” This quote really spoke to me because I think individuals who have to make a public presentation usually fear embarrassment for not knowing something above all else. So instead of simply being honest and admitting to not knowing the exact answer to a question during a presentation they attempt to nonsense it. The only problem is this tactic only really makes the audience more embarrassed for the presenter. Whereas if the presenter just admitted that they didn’t know the answer or bounced it back to the audience and said something like, “Honestly, I’m not too sure but what do you guys think?” they would look more intelligent. Colman is basically saying that there is strength in honesty.
Colman makes it a point to explain that shyness and introversion are too separate traits. He explains shyness as the feelings and tactics associated with avoidance of confrontation or personal interaction. Where on the other hand Colman defines introversion as the preference to be alone in order to utilize our time and maximize production. I would describe myself as introverted but not shy. For example, I have minimal social anxiety and believe I can start a conversation with almost anyone if need be. However, I prefer to be on my own if given the choice. I always have to study alone or do things my own way because I know myself and I know when I’m alone I can better utilize my time to produce results. I have no problem meeting people or interacting and I rarely employ tactics to avoid social situations.
Colman wrote that there was, “safety in structure” and I really agree with him. I think he means that it is so much easier to meet a stranger or hold a conversation with someone new when you already have a slight outline of how the conversation is going to go. For example, a shy person might not be overly anxious about meeting their accountant to do their taxes. This is a scheduled event with a brief outline; you know why you’re there and you at least vaguely know what to talk about. The problem arises if you’re out at a social event and you are not actually required to meet anyone there. Many people feel anxious about how to start a conversation when there’s no structure on what to say; they have no real reason to talk to them other than for the sake of meeting someone new. Colman believes that the best way to go about this is to ease you into social situations piece by piece in order to get acclimated and feel more comfortable.
When reading Jonathon Colman’s blog on public speaking for shy and introverted people I found that his best advice he had to offer was in his point on being direct. It is important to be direct to people about your wants and needs instead of making an excuse for why you cannot do something, and people will respect you more for it. I have made excuses to other people instead of just being honest and I find that it has more times than not caused more stress about a situation. Before reading this blog I was aware that I am more of an introverted person but not necessarily shy, but this has helped in a reassuring way. I know that I am introverted because I very much enjoy alone time. I also enjoy being with one or two of my best friends and we have a relationship where we don’t need to talk much or just doing our own thing in many situations. I used to be shy as a child but now I very much enjoy meeting people when I am in the mood to and going to parties can be very fun on the occasion. When Colman writes there is safety in structure I think he’s talking about common grounds between people, whether it be at a work place or interests in a similar subject. He used the example of starting a conversation with Michelle Robbins over a battle star galactic sticker she had on her laptop. There is structure that can be found everywhere you just need to know where to look.
ReplyDeleteI thought while reading Jonathon Colman’s post “A Guide to Public Speaking for Introverted and Shy People” he gave some good advice. The best piece of advice that I took away from his blog post was “acknowledge your fear.” You have to be able to realize what your fears are in order to over come them. Once you learn what exactly you are afraid of “or what’s making you uncomfortable, then you can start taking productive action toward overcoming that fear.” This advice I feel is very helpful in helping someone overcome shyness or introversion with public speaking. According to Colman’s explanation of shyness and introversion I would say I am more shy then introverted. I do not necessarily enjoy being alone or need time at the end of the day to recharge. However when meeting new people I tend to get quiet and keep to myself. When Colman wrote there was “safety in structure” he means that when there are guidelines or formation in place in social interactions that it should make that interaction easier. When you know what to expect or have guidelines to follow you feel more confident in that social interaction.
ReplyDeleteWhen reading Jonathan Colman’s “A Guide to Public Speaking for Introverted and Shy People,” I thought he gave some really good advice. The best advice he gave was Be Direct. I think this was the best advice because no one likes someone who lies. I feel that you get more respect when you’re honest compared to when you pretend to be something you not
ReplyDeleteUsing Colman’s explanation of shyness and introversion, I would be considered shy because I have fear and anxiety about certain things like speaking to people who I don’t know for the first time or speaking in public. I often have feelings of discomfort when I am in certain places that are out of my norm.
When Colman says “There is safety in structure,” I think he is saying that having some structure when public speaking or having a normal conversation can be helpful especially if you are an introverted or even a shy person because it makes the connection seem to happen easier. It also makes a person less worried about their fears of public speaking and helps them focus on more important things.
I think the best advice that Jonathon Coleman gives in his blog is to get comfortable and intimate with your fears. This rings true for me after completing the majority of the course. I never liked public speaking. I would always talk myself into being so confident but as soon as I get up to begin, I was a nervous wreck and everything seemed to go wrong. This class has made me more confident. Of course I still get nervous, but we have spent so much time talking about why we get nervous and how to make it better that it seems acceptable now. The best part about talking about your fears is knowing that other people feel the same way. You are not alone. When class presentations roll around, everyone feels the same and nobody is wishing for you to do poorly. You are judging yourself much harder than anyone else is. I never understood that concept until I took this course that forced me to face my fears and talk about them head on. I feel much more successful now than I ever had when public speaking.
ReplyDeleteThe best advice Colman gave in his blog is for the shy because I would describe myself as shy. He suggests “getting comfortable and intimate with your fear.” By understanding what you are afraid of, you can take control over the things that prevent you from speaking in public. For example, to overcome your fear of giving wrong facts or answers, he suggests to become open and accountable when you stress out because it is comforting. In other words, the key is to be honest with your audience and to show them where and how you draw conclusions. He also suggests to take the audience’s answers as a positive opportunity for “knowledge exchange and real, on-the-fly learning.” Using Colman’s explanations of shyness and introversion, I’m shy because I experience “concepts like fear, anxiety, sensitivity, risk-aversion, and personal/ emotional zones of discomfort.” I am not introverted because I do not have an issue “processing, producing, and expending energy,” depending on my mood. Why Colman means by there is safety in structure is that people use “some sort of system as a template to start a relationship.” This gives you clues to what to say during certain situations.
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ReplyDeleteIn the blog post “Tips for the Shy”, I think that Coleman gives a lot of good advice throughout. I think the best advice he gives is when he says that “there is nothing wrong with you”. Oftentimes people associate being shy and introverted as a negative thing. He says that it is perfectly fine and that with hard work and focus, that a person can become just as good at public speaking as an extrovert. Coleman equates shyness to other emotions such as fear, anxiety, and personal zones of discomfort. He describes introversion as, “one’s ways for processing, producing, and expending energy”. Based on these descriptions, I would consider myself to be both shy and an introvert at times. I know that I’m shy when I first meet people. I never know what to stay or how to start a conversation. I definitely feel a level of discomfort when I first meet people. I would consider myself to be introverted sometimes as well. I like to keep to myself and not be surrounded by lots of people all the time. When Coleman writes “There’s safety in structure”, he means that having a kind of template or set of guidelines can make it much easier to meet people and establish relationships. A structure can provide hints on what to say to a person which can often reduce fear about the situation.
ReplyDeleteI think that the best advice Jonathon Colman gave in his blog was to “get comfortable and intimate with your fears.” I strongly agree with the point Colman made that putting a label on your fear is your best way to get over it. Personally, I know that it has helped me in public speaking to identify my fears in order to overcome them and not allow them to distract me while I am speaking. Furthermore, I found it ironic that the thing I fear most when public speaking (being called out on something that you present) is one of the most common fears amongst speakers. I found Colman’s advice to be direct with the audience when a conflict arises to be very powerful. As he stated, most people respond better to a speaker when they are being honest and upfront. Nobody likes feeling like they are being lied to or swindled into believing something, so the best way to fix your error is to admit that it was in fact an error and to provide the correct information on spot, or admit that you do not know the information and involve the audience in solving the conflict.
ReplyDeleteI have found that I am both shy and an introvert. I feel that I am shy because I have high levels of fear and anxiety when brought into any social situation. I do have zones of discomfort, meaning that speaking one-on-one with a person is not an extreme fear, but when I have to speak in front of a larger group of people or am even in a room with a large amount of people, I “hit the panic button” and become extremely nervous. Knowing that I possibly have to speak in front of many people or just the energy and level of conversation in a room with many people is very intimidating for me. Furthermore, I feel that I am an introvert because when I am put in a social situation, I find that I do have to expend energy to communicate with others. In other words, I would rather process information and do things on my own, so when I have to socialize I have to put the effort into coming out of my comfort zone in order to seem “normal” to the other people.
I would define “There’s safety in structure” as preparing yourself and structuring your social interactions in a way that will bring comfort to you. In other words, if you know you will be going to a large conference or other event, schedule your day so that you are attending the smaller discussions and activities, avoiding the larger presentations and social interactions that involve too many people. In addition, if you know that you will be having a one-on-one conversation with somebody, prepare yourself to ask a question or discuss a topic that will allow the other person to quickly take control of the conversation, relieving the pressure on you to carry the conversation.
Colman presents many issues that a person with shyness or introversion may face when they give a speech in public. He also provides advice for how to overcome these issues and become a better speaker.
ReplyDeleteI believe his best advice is to avoid the drama. One of the biggest fears related to public speaking is that someone may call you out for being wrong. Truth is, it happens, and there is nothing we can do about it. Colman's advice is to accept it and move on. If you are wrong in fact, learn from it. If someone disagrees with an opinion, accept that they may have different views. Allowing a comment to get under your skin will throw you off your game, and the speech may not seem as powerful.
Based on Colman's definitions, I would not say I am either shy or introverted. I do not feel fear or anxiety related to social situations, nor do I find them draining. Even when I am quiet, I enjoy being around other people. I would rather spend every night with other people than alone.
Colman refers to a scenario called "safety in structure". Safety in structure refers to structured situations, which remove the guess work and foundation building normally associated with social interactions. The structure serves to reduce anxiety and fear, and gives level ground to everyone involved. The structure can also be used to avoid situations that make you uncomfortable.
I think the best advice Colman gave in this reading was when he was talking about how different his two personalities on and off the stage and how he can be so extroverted over an audience. When the bold face words said "How do I do that?" his response was, "it doesn't get better". Which I think is so true and a different way of looking at it. You can't change who you are, but you can change the way you act to fit who you are. And thats exactly what he did, and is advising people to do. Figure out a way to make who you are work for you. Based on Colmans explanation of shyness vs. introversion, I think that I am more on the shy end, I have some fears, and some anxiety when it comes to talking to people I am unsure about or that I am not comfortable with. I enjoy being around other people but when it is my turn to talk or voice my opinion and I do not know these people well I get a little anxious. Colman brings up a point about there being "safety in structure", I think by him stating this he means, that when people feel like they have a reason to be talking or someone to talk to about something it is often easier than just starting a conversation with no initial point. I think that this is true because it is hard to just walk into a situation without a plan or a reason to talk, it is in turn much easier when you have a gameplan or a goal. (i.e. meetings, conferences, etc).
ReplyDeleteI personally think one of the best pieces of advice Colman gives in his blog post is to acknowledge your fear. I can relate to this because I too have a fear of public speaking. Being able to label this fear allows for me to know it and figure out a plan of attack on how to get over it. According to Colman, this is the “fastest way to start gaining some control over things that prevent you from speaking in public.” From Colman’s explanations of shyness and introversion, I would consider myself shy and also an extrovert. I personally think I am shy because I gain my energy through being surrounded by others and doing group activities rather than by myself. I do consider myself shy however because when I am with others, I prefer not to be the first one to speak up if we have to do some public speaking. When Colman refers to “safety in structure”, he talks about a structure that gives you clues and hints as to what to say which takes a lot of fear about of the equation.
ReplyDeleteThe best advice that Colman gave in his blog post was that structure gives you clues and hints as to what to say, which takes a lot of guesswork and fear out of the equation. I thought this was great advice because when meeting someone new you always try to find something you have in common with them. Finding something in common with someone new makes starting a conversation with them that much easier. I am more of a shy person than an introvert. I have many fears, anxiety, sensitivity, risk-aversion, and person/emotional zones of discomfort. By saying “there’s safety in structure,” Colman is talking about the hints and clues people give you. These clues are things people look for when having a conversation with someone to be able to hold a good conversation. Talking to someone that has something in common as you do is much easier than starting a conversation with someone you know nothing about.
ReplyDeleteI think the best advice that Jonathon Coleman gave in his blog was to acknowledge your fear. That is because the only way you can overcome your fears is by acknowledging them. One must challenge oneself to overcome these fears. It takes a lot of mental strength and courage to allow yourself to be uncomfortable in situations that make you anxious. He describes shyness with concepts like fear, anxiety, sensitivity, risk-aversion, and personal/emotional zones of discomfort whereas introversion involves one’s preferences for processing, producing and expending energy. I believe that I am both shy and an introvert. I enjoy being by myself and I tend to keep to myself while around people. I think when Colman wrote there was “safety in structure” he means that there are guidelines for each social interaction we can follow to make the conversation or interaction that much easier. Since when your mind knows it has control, and when you know what to expect you feel more comfortable and confident with you abilities and furthermore the social interaction.
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